Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
cat food counts as protein by the way
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
