Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
