we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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