fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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