i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
