Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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