I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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