I wish I could punch you in the face.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
