Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
