just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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