Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
