I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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