just tell him i said nine months
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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