What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
