Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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