it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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