Pappa wants mamma naked
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
