Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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