she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
