i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
