My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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