i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
too bad you live with your parents still
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
