You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
