i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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