8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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