i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
