Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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