Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
