I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
