Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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