i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
