I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
