You really coming over, don't trick.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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