Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
