He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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