I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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