maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
