oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
