what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
