not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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