One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
