I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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