I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
