youre lurking in front of me
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
