her vagine was all disorganized.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
