lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
