so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
