sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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