the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize