i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dignity is for republicans.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
