I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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